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The Fight to Live
It started out as an ordinary morning. I went out to give my 2 horses breakfast. By the time I reached Skye my heart was in my mouth. Her near side rear leg was twice its normal circumference. And her good rear leg was shaking with the effort of supporting her weight. Her coat was dull, her skin clammy. And she was literally shutting down in front of me.
Urgent action was required. First call to my wonderful vets, Racetrack Veterinary Services in Mornington. Eoin was overseas and Hannah returned my call within 10 minutes arranging to come as soon as she could. In the meantime I stayed close to Skye offering a reassuring presence, talking gently to her. I was, however, terrified I was going to lose my horse of 10 years. My thoughts were scattered, rolling around in slow motion.
Hannah's first visit entailed an examination and diagnosis. Life threatening cellulitis. Equine cellulitis is a bacterial infection of the soft connective tissues under a horses skin. It typically occurs in a hind leg and starts with sudden swelling that is warm and painful to the touch. Other symptoms include severe lameness and sensitivity, fever and depression.
Even when it initially seems mild, cellulitis is not an ailment to take lightly. The swelling can progress quickly, within a few hours, to the point where fluid leaks from cracks in the overstretched skin. This is what happened to Skye including weeping from her hoof threatening the soundness of her leg. My vet said now his diagnosis was guarded, "no hoof no horse". My farrier, Zac King, came and tenderly trimmed her hoofs, even the affected one. And because she trusted Zac so completely and had known his hoof care for years Skye even let him trim her affected hoof.,
If the infection is not controlled quickly, a number of serious complications can develop. For example, the bacteria may spread from the skin into the deeper tissues and structures of the leg. A particularly aggressive or resistant bacteria may cause tissue necrosis or a more deep-seated infection, which in rare cases can affect the bone, tendon or synovial structures such as a joint or tendon sheath.
Laminitis is also a possibility. “It’s usually a support-limb laminitis but it can also be laminitis in the affected leg. Skye was close to this with both legs.
Systemic infections, such as sepsis, can also occur. Horses can have further problems if the bacterial infection does not stay confined to that limb and goes throughout the body. A horse can become very sick from systemic infection. This was the case for Skye.
By late morning, after Hannah left, I realised Skye could not longer handle standing up. This is very serious for a horse because they cannot lie down for long periods. However it soon became apparent that she did not even have the strength in her affected leg, or the rear leg that was supporting her weight, to get down. She tried to go down and got stuck. Her rear sticking up and her front legs down. And then I was really worried. Somehow I got her out of the stable and into the yard. Rang Hannah again and she returned ASAP.
We had to get her out of the stables but to where? And how was she going to be able to lie down? And if she lay down would she ever be able to get up again in time not to crush her internal organs? There were no answers only questions.
We got her to the arena and she walked gingerly looking for a place to lie down. Skye knew she couldn't get down on a flat surface. She needed a gradient to assist. Her legs were not strong enough. We decided to take the risk of walking her slowly to her front paddock. "Its her best chance", Hannah said.
My determined horse got herself to the paddock. There was no way I could carry her! And then traversed the paddock selecting a slope to use so she could get herself down. Down she went. What a relief. And there she remained for 4.5 hours. A record for her. I sat beside her. When she lifted her head I gave her water from a bucket. She occasionally munched the grass. But basically she gave into utter exhaustion and rested.
Night came. A full moon rose. it was a beautiful clear night. I placed a doona on her back to buffer the chill while she lay still and silent. I spoke gently and reassuringly to her telling her I believed she could make it. And not to give up. As I rested beside her I wondered if I would ever see my big strong athletic mare stand up again or would I find her gone in the morning.
I couldn't leave her. Miraculously she stumbled upright hours later. Walked a little, drank some water, munched some grass. And settled herself down again within 10 minutes onto a very soft clump of grass at the top of the paddock, away from the wind, and near Finnigan, her buddy. He stood by the side fence offering company.
She made it through the first night but she was still very sick in the morning.
The Right to Thrive
Skye is my precious people support horse. For the past 5 years she has engaged safely and graciously with people wanting the equine experience of interacting with a non-judgmental insightful sentient being. Who can give them instant feedback. And a sense of their personal power.
She had the right to whatever it took to keep her alive and then help her to thrive. And that took quite a lot of doing because for 2 weeks it was touch and go. She had an extensive regime of medication and remediation including hosing her leg at least twice a day, every day. As her leg became less tender she tolerated the hosing better. She also needed to draw on my emotional strength and he emotionally held through the ordeal. I spent hours quietly in her company. When she looked like giving up I told her firmly that I needed her and it wasn't time to go. That we could get through this.
Challengingly for me there was the need to administer oral medication twice daily. While she was very ill then was manageable but as she regained her strength I had a battle on my hands. It is truly amazing how hard it can be to get 25 mls of antibiotics into a horse's mouth if they don't want to cooperate. And they are 17 hands tall.
I found this very distressing because I wanted her to recover and to understand that I was only helping. But she had other ideas. On a number of occasions I had to call in the experts, Hannah or Eoin to administer the medication when I had lost the battle for the day. Keeping up the antibiotics was non-negotiable. Whatever it took.
It is draining caring for a 500 kilo very ill patient. Your tasks are magnified.
Christmas 2024 was a low key event. Lovely to see family and have my horse still alive. Enough.
January dragged along. My hope for a speedy recovery was unrealistic. It is taking serious time for Skye to recover her health and strength. Her hoof has recovered and she is not lame. Sound even. A miracle in itself.
Most days she has a lunge. I took her for a walk out on the road a few days ago and she loved that. We have always loved this companionable time together.
This week Hannah came with an ice therapy boot to use twice a day, for 20 minutes. Skye is tolerating this very well. And it is already making a difference.
We are getting on with it one day at a time. And succeeding. That's good enough for me.
You deserve to thrive not just survive
Skye's will to live and my will to help her has parallels in the workplace. More than survival Skye has a right to thrive. She does wonderful work as my equine facilitation partner working with clients who come to us to learn and grow. I have an obligation to her to ensure that she encounters kindness and safety. And enjoys her work.
We have a right to thrive at work not to encounter dark triad personality types or bullies or those who get off on coercive control or sexually assaulting co-workers. We have a right to be treated kindly, with respect and consideration. And to be held in mind.
We have a right to go to work, earn our living and go home without having such serious chest pain that we find ourselves lying on our living room floor aged 26. That was me. When I represented people experiencing work related legal issues.
I am still trying to make a difference 40 years later.
What I have learnt
Hold true to your values
Believe in yourself
You deserve to thrive not just survive.
Tell yourself everyday "I am good enough"
When you encounter unacceptable behaviour know that it is not your fault.
You are a target more than you are a victim.
Don't relinquish power to people who do not have your best interests at heart.
Deborah Hann
8 February 2025.
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